Friday, April 17, 2009

lost in bagland

I've been inspired by the handbag chronicles of Momplex who was inspired by Bad Mommy Moments who begged the question "What’s in your purse?" . Go find yourself.

Meet my companion. This chocolate brown 11" x 12" beauty wraps around me when I'm graced with 'alone time'. It is my bag.

It's small. It's light. It doesn't remind me of walking around with a baby strapped to my chest. It's soft. It smells like coffee because I often find myself at Starbucks/Chapters during my 'alone time'. Did I say it was light? I think it's gorgeous though not as nice as the other two mommies' purses. It costs more than my microwave. It's my bag. I'm confident that I'll have no problem finding me in here.

Whaaaat?! It looks like I just opened an emergency kit ... and a very useless one at that. I have nothing resembling me in it!

Two bandaids. Just in case I cut myself accidentally twice while I'm out for an hour or two.

A toothbrush. Still in its package. A freebie from the dental office. Who knows? I might just meet Brad Pitt in the Age 0-3 readers section of Chapters and... Oh, wait. Angie would kick my ass. Gotta find a fantasy guy who isn't married to a Lara Kroft type ... Who knows? I might just meet Sean Connery ... Shut up. It's my fantasy.

A quarter. My mom used to keep at least one coin in her empty purses to fend off those evil purse-fiends. Okay, I'm making this up ... but not about my mom keeping a coin in all her purses. I don't know why she does it. I keep a quarter in case I need to make a phone call ... and, someone happens to pinch my blackberry ... and Starbucks/Chapters won't let me use their phone.

A maxipad. Not a little tampon or a discreet pantyliner. But a f**cking maxipad ... otherwise known as "mommy's diaper" to my 3-year-old. A maxipad because even though it's been 1 1/2 years since my last baby who is now a walking, talking toddler was born, I still don't have any issues with wearing the same baggy trackpants I wore throughout my pregnancy. My 'mommy diaper' couldn't possibly make me any less alluring. This can't be me.

Two pens. But nothing to write on except on the back of ...

A receipt. Oh, yeah. I forgot. I also use the bag to go grocery shopping solo.

Sigh. Perhaps, I too am in the diaper bag. Will have to check it some other time.


  1. Are you kidding me? This is all you have in your purse? And everything is so neat and tidy and clean?? You all are making it so hard for me to take that plunge into my purse.
    I love that one quarter.

  2. Lordy, I know I'm not 'in' any of my bags! I wish... I hope your little ones are feeling better

  3. Isn't it funny how the purse fever is catching? I loved CK's idea. I laughed at your commentary, particularly about the maxi pad. That IS one maximum pad, taking up nearly a whole corner of that chair! I guess if you accidentally cut yourself THREE times while you're out, you've got backup to the bandaids. And p.s., I love Sean Connery.

  4. hahahahahahaha!

    But let's be serious for a minute here. How on earth is your purse so empty?

    Do you know how ahead of the game you are? So what you're camping out in the diaper bag? You know how to separate yourself.

    Kudos, SAHM-I-AM.

  5. Kudos to you too, SAHM-I-AM. Not only does my family treat my purse as the go-to place for supplies (tissues, hand sanitizer, umbrella, painkiller, and etc). My colleagues are beginning to see me as the mom who carries "everything".

  6. Leave it to mom bloggers to find something positive about the result of this exercise in deconstructing my bag contents: yes, it is very much kid-free. It’s all mine.

    I suppose that was the point of CK’s challenge: to find the stuff that is truly yours underneath all that baby gear and reclaim your purse (and self) again. I didn’t have to purge a thing. I get A-plus for that.

    The thing is I can’t help feeling disappointed that there was nothing sexy or intelligent about the items I found. What happened to that side of me? This morning I checked the diaper bag (a nylon ultra-utilitarian backpack) and found my wallet, blackberry and keys that travel to/from the diaper bag and my bag. Searching deeper, I found contact lens drops (well, that can go in my emergency kit, aka my bag) and one No. 210 Cocoa Forever Lip Color.

    Is this it? One brown long-lasting, smudge-free lipstick. Is this as sexy as I get? And, I suppose it’s no use looking any deeper in my bags for ‘intelligence’ because that’s been M.I.A. since baby brain hit.

    P.S. In defence of the maxi maxipad, the chair it’s sitting on is an IKEA child-sized chair.

  7. "Mommy's diaper"...I loved that one. My 2 year old calls it that too, in public.

    Your purse is nice! Seeing all these nice bags makes me realize I've got to upgrade.

  8. I LOOOOVVEE your bag!!! ...and that you compare it's price tag to that of your microwave! Who cares if there's not much IN your hip bag, maybe the bag itself is the YOU that you're looking for. Great post!