bb photo: changes

Now I know how my hubby feels when he returns from an out of town work trip. Spent the afternoon downstairs after being cooped up sick in my room for 4 days. Lots of changes. LittleR dude grew a beard and Little Dude is off to university!

Just kidding. Lots of growing up did happen. Ones only a parent would notice.

Sent from my Blackberry device

off to cough myself to sleep?

I'm sitting in bed, unable to sleep, recovering from the flu and pneumonia. My fever broke late last night but the coughing lingers. I'm thinking back to a recent tweet. "Off to cough myself to sleep," a mommy blogger wrote. I thought it was clever. Now I realize what an impossible thing that is. A nagging cough, especially one accompanied by thick green phlegm, does NOT induce sleep. Quite the opposite really. And so I sit in bed reflecting on a multitude of things.

My in-laws are here. The morning after they arrived I woke up unable to get out of bed and here I've remained since, except to see the doctor and get an x-ray. I worry that I will pass on the flu to them but am also glad that they're here to help the Good Man with the boys.

I've only seen glimpses of the boys over the last three days. In my more wakeful states, I listen for them wondering if they've noticed my absence. I missed the gift opening with grandma & grandpa last night but could hear the boys' squeals of joy from my room. The Good Man also instant messaged me some photos ... Gotta love technology and a man who tries to include you in family events if only virtually. It was a sweet gesture, though I must admit, was hard to enjoy as I had reached my daily dose of Tylenol and was sufferring through severe body aches and chills.

My in-laws leave tonight. It was a short visit but a timely one. I'm so grateful. I'm not sure if the Goodman and I could have managed as well without them. I'm sorry I wasn't able to spend anytime with them but would be even sorrier should one or both of them come down with this awful flu.

Wishing all good health.

And, now maybe to sleep.

Sent from my Blackberry device

bb photo: kiss me

LittleR Dude turns to me and purses his lips, face covered in this morning's breakfast. I smile back at him. Apparently, not good enough. "Kiss me!!" he demands.

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bb photo: and so it begins ... again

'Twas the day after christmas
When all through the house
No floor space left uncluttered
By the offspring of my spouse.

Okay so I'm no poet. Just figured out how to post a quick blog with a pic using my blackberry ... so I'm super psyched. Yay!! I don't have to maintain a 2nd blog site afterall. Goodbye daily bb. It was great while it lasted.

Sent from my Blackberry device

baby on board

"Baby On Board!"

Seeing this sign attached to the back of cars always makes me smile. I'm, of course, laughing at myself and not anyone else.

"Baby On Board!"

As if seeing me driving a mini isn't telling enough. No. Not the cute little Mr. Bean variety Mini. I'm talking about the big mass of steel on four wheels, equipped with child-friendly sliding passenger doors, the ever-telling pull-down video screens, and hatchback storage large enough for a double-stroller and our horde of kiddie gear.

Me in my mini ... more popularly known as the minivan ... is a sure sign that I am indeed toting around offspring.

Minus one child ago, the GoodMan and I opted for a much cooler SUV to transport our first-born and his baby gear. Soon, Baby #2 arrived and then grandma came to visit which left me trying to squeeze my 30-lbs-overweight entirety in between two car seats. Not an easy or flattering task!

And so the mini was picked and bought. Later, the "Baby On Board" sign was attached. A redundant addition, in retrospect.

If driving a minivan wasn't enough to let others know that I have toddlers on board, my driving habits surely will. Yep, that's me. In the van still stopped at the light even after it turned green because:

A) I'm trying to retrieve a dropped toy that one of my boys cannot possibly live without, not a single second longer. Or,

B) I'm too busy reassuring my first-born that his name is in fact "Little Dude" and not "mommy" or "monkey" or "nannor" or other made-up names that his younger brother is calling him with a big-ass cheeky grin splashed across his face.

Ever wondered who the idiot is locking her van, making that annoying "beep-beep" sound indicating that it IS locked, five times in a row! That's me, too. Sleep-deprivation withstanding, the act of navigating two kids who are not yet 4 and all their kiddie gear across a busy parking lot and finally arriving safely at the mall entrance has left my brain unable to remember nada. Nothing. Kaput. Including whether I locked the van or not. So I click my remote several times because I can't actually hear the horn go "beep-beep" from that distance. And then I click it a couple of more times for good measure because the thought of retracing my steps so I can hear the reassuring "beep-beep" sound is unthinkable given the hardships endured getting to the store entrance already.

The "Baby On Board!" sign fell off the back of the van soon after it was attached. Its current whereabouts are unknown but I'm certain everyone already knows: I AM carrying babes on board.

just shoot me

I don't know what possessed me to think that an impromptu photo shoot would result in a Christmas card-worthy photograph.

The inspiration:
I noticed that the boys were dressed in coordinating colours.

The downfall:
Teething-induced relentless drooling (Don't let LittleR Dude's smile fool you. He's been a salivating, miserable little guy all day, as in this photo) ...


... plus an equally incessant runny nose ...

... make an attention-deficit and very uncooperative second child.

Merry @%$#-ing Christmas Grandma & Grandpa!

daydreams at night

Restful sleep has been elusive lately. The flu has worn me down.

Last night, I slipped in and out of consciousness moving from one surreal dream or thought into the next. I opened my eyes wondering if I just heard LittleR Dude crying ... from teething pain. There was silence. I sighed ... glad that this was the final molar and last baby tooth to come in. But this feeling of relief was momentary because I knew full well it will not be the last time I will be awakened by the sound (real or imagined) of my boys crying.

I touched my forehead and caressed the small lump still stinging from this morning's collision with a door as I rushed outside to put a bag of mouldy oranges in the compost bin. "F*ck!" I screamed, immediately feeling guilty because both boys were at the kitchen table only a few feet away. I envisioned the two of them greeting their daddy with an exuberant, "F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!" when he got home from work. F*ck it, I thought and decided not to say anything further. My forehead was already throbbing.

Moments after this incident, and because I love the sensation of flesh meeting wood so much, I walked into the side of the bathroom door hitting a different part of my forehead, albeit not as abruptly. This time I had the sense to keep my thoughts to myself.

I closed my eyes and dreamed some more. A young girl was being led away by a young boy. They looked in love. I became conscious of the good man snoring beside me. I coughed. Hacked. He snored. He can sleep through anything.

My thoughts darted to the house that we considered buying this summer. I remembered salivating at the thought of moving into a house with fewer and smaller rooms to clean. And, the backyard. Well, it was utterly stunning! I fell in love with the garden, the pool, the grass area and the clumps of mature trees ... a forest for the boys to run through, discover nature and build a tree house in. But we didn't act fast enough and the house sold before we could even put a bid in.

Construction in our backyard began this fall. We're putting in a pool and cordoning a section of "play space" for the boys. Instead of searching for the perfect house, we've decided to make our current home perfect for us, an investment that will ground us here for at least 10 years. It's an incredibly liberating decision and I now look forward to notching a door frame with the kids' heights and creating other memories deep in the walls and space around me.

I closed my eyes again. Other daydreams whirled around my head. Then finally, sleep.

blogging on the side

Yes, it's true. I've been blogging elsewhere. Little Dude's sleep schedule has made it impossible to maintain my night time blogging ritual. Since I'm not ready to completely give blogging up for good, I've found an alternative ... micro-blogging using my blackberry and a the new Typepad Micro app. Please check it out at http://www.dailybb.typepad.com/. The boys have been renamed c1 and c2 because, frankly, thumbing "Little Dude" and "LittleR Dude" is more work than I'm willing to take on right now. The Good Man is still the good man or gm, for short. Longer thoughts will still be posted here. Gotta run. The babes are a-calling.

++++

I'm back. C2 ... I mean LittleR Dude was screaming and crying about wanting something from Little Dude who was running around giggling and clutching the object of desire. More at the Daily BB blog.