Tuesday, October 6, 2009

the drama ensues

I'm sitting at Starbucks again after dropping the boys off at nursery school. My chest feels like it's going to implode.

After receiving several comments to my last post, it seemed clear that what LittleR Dude and I are feeling is normal. We just have to get through it. It will eventually get easier.

I felt empowered with that knowledge walking into the school this morning. Thank you to all the moms who responded. I feel lucky to be part of such a supportive network of women.

This morning, seeing the look of abandonment in LittleR Dude's teary eyes did not reduce me to tears. I was ready for it this time. But still, here I sit again wondering if the heartache is worth it. Wondering if keeping him home for another year is the better option, making it easier for us both.

Tonight I will talk to the Good Man again. Reread my last post's comments. Perhaps, persevere for another week or two. And hope that the guilty feelings and heaviness in my heart subside.


  1. You should consider finding something to do for yourself during this time. Something that makes you happy. I spend my child-free time working on a project that I love that I can only do (successfully) when they're gone.

  2. ck has a good idea there. But it might be hard for you to find anything to do now, without feeling guilty about it. Hope everything's working out for you, slowly but surely.