dear phone solicitor:

Perhaps, the two little screaming voices in the background did not make it apparent. But nope. You have not caught me in the mood to listen to you explain the benefits of purchasing insurance through my credit card company.

Click.

And you: Young lady who interrupted our nap time routine by ringing the doorbell and rapping on the door rather aggressively. The once-but-no-longer-sleepy little boy calling for me at the top of the stairs may not have provided you with a clue that perhaps you should get to the point of your visit. And, may I also suggest the you get your head out of your binder and make eye contact when relating to me how you were just speaking to my neighbour about great 'educational materials' for her son. What are you selling?! Your two minutes are up.

Slam.

As for you: Guy from our water heater supplier who called while we were preparing for dinner. You do NOT have the right to ask if I have air conditioning or gas heating in my home or about matters that do not pertain to the water heater unit that we purchased from you. When I asked why you were calling about exactly, you tried to avoid this question by repeating that you were from our water heater supplier and asked again if I had air conditioning or gas heating in my home, but this time with impatience in your voice that reminded me of my 3 1/2-year-old when I do not answer his questions fast enough. Well, this just utterly pissed me off. Don't use that tone with me. And, most of all, do NOT call again.

Slam. Click.

But you: Recently-out-of-your-teens girl, with a European accent that I can't place, selling pretty $10 bookmarks from Korea door-to-door so that you can fund your stay in Canada. You remind me of my husband's daughter from his first marriage who was your age only a few years ago. You did NOT wake the boys. Here's my $20. Keep the change.

And, sweetie. If you see some little girls selling Girl Guide cookies while in my neighbourhood, do point them in my direction. They can come anytime. I'll take 4 boxes.

Thank you.

+ + + + +

I'm staying at mom's with the boys while the Good Man is out of town. Today, I answered 2 phone solicitations and Little Dude answered 3, reminding me of the interruptions that happened at my own house this summer.